Press release: 1 April 2018

Cruel conditions and peanuts for pay: the shocking TRUTH behind your email campaigns

An undercover investigation earlier this week exposed the shocking conditions chimps are kept in when sending email campaigns.

Reports revealed that the world's biggest email marketing provider (who can't be named for legal reasons) keeps chimps chained at computers and working through the night to send your emails.

Many were reported to suffer from repetitive strain injury caused by writing up to 10,000 emails every day. Company policy forced them to wear "cute" mailman-style hats, resulting in severe discomfort. And the pay is – literally – peanuts.

Rightly, consumers are outraged.

"I had no idea," said Pete, a customer in Great Britain. "I thought it was all automatic or something. It's just plain wrong to treat monkeys like that."

Fortunately, there are other options. Market disruptor EmailOctopus are piloting innovative use of octopuses in email broadcasting. Octopuses, known for their dexterity and work-loving nature, are an ethical if little-known alternative.

Jonathan Bull, spokesperson at EmailOctopus said, "While this week's news is awful, I can't say I'm surprised. This has been going on a long time and we're just pleased people are learning the truth."

"At EmailOctopus we pride ourselves on doing the right thing. Our CSR policy (Cephalopod Staff Rights) is absolutely integral to the company."

Customers looking to make the switch can sign up at emailoctopus.com

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